The Counselor: Movie Review

Director Ridley Scott has delivered more than a few Hollywood classics, but lately, films like “Body of Lies”, “Robin Hood”, “Prometheus” and now “The Counselor” have helped tarnish the filmmaker’s filmography.  “Prometheus” had some redemption for me just based on its’ visual style alone, but there is nothing redeeming about “The Counselor”.   This could very well be one of the worst (if not THE worst) film of 2013.  Not only is the movie truly rancid, but each of the leads should be nominated for a Razzie award.  

“The Counselor” is a cautionary tale about tempting fate and the audience is reminded of it constantly throughout the film.  Michael Fassbender plays the title character. Everyone he deals with refers to him as Counselor. Why?  Well, because he is one. He also is getting himself into the drug business, even though his new partners Reiner (Javier Bardem) and Westray (Brad Pitt) want him to think twice about getting in on this illegal venture with them.

Of course, the Counselor doesn’t listen to anybody’s advice and his life goes down the drain fast via a series of ridiculous coincidences.  He soon realizes that this one-time-only dealings in the drug trade is costing him more than he bargained for.

If I would list every reason for you to not see “The Counselor”, this review would wind up being endless.  I am just going to give you a few reasons.  First (and probably the biggest one), almost every conversation between the main characters feels like a never ending ramble that seems to be way too similar to a previous never ending ramble.  The conversations I am assuming are supposed to be coming off as poetic, but they are frustrating to listen to.

Another reason to stay clear are the performances.  Don’t let the top notch cast fool you, the acting is about as bad as 1998’s “Wild Things” which starred Kevin Bacon and Matt Dillon. The difference here is that they played it for camp.  “The Counselor” could have worked if they played it campy…but oh no…not from the author of “No Country for Old Men”. Cormac McCarthy does not do camp.  Diaz and Bardem are completely laughable here.  Fassbender and Cruz are a bore. Pitt, doesn’t offer anything new, but at least his character is likeable. 

The only entertaining moment in “The Counselor” is when Bardem’s character Reiner shares a story with the Counselor about his girlfriend Malkina (Diaz) having sex with his car.  As great as that moment is, it doesn’t justify sitting through this worthless garbage of a movie.

By: Marc Ferman